Sticks and Stones? Bull!

Words do hurt. They piece into your heart like a sword.  Whoever made up that saying is an idiot.   I told that dumb little ditty to my kids when they were little too.  Can I get a do over?

The thing about words is we don't forget.  We remember what people said, the hurtful words, the painful accusations.  We might forgive them but we don't forget those words. 

And a side note, forgive and forget?  Right.  Just as much crap as sticks and stones.  Forgiveness is hard but if we do give it, we don't forget it.  Who are we kidding?  We remember!

So why do we tell out kids to not let words hurt them?  Well, we want our kids to be tough right?  No one wants to raise a wimpy kids whose always going around crying or being withered by what mean things other kids say.  We don't want them to grow up to be adults who are altered by what others say or feel on a whim of anger.  We want the to be strong and steadfast. 

And let's admit it, KIDS CAN BE REALLY MEAN!  They can say horribly hurtful things to people.  Bullying is a huge problem in schools and has been a major campaign focus in the schools the last couple years. 

I can actually, with vivid memories, remember a couple specific times I was bullied in school when I was in elementary.  I did eventually fight back, with violence no less.  Now I am not advocating violence by any means. It's not the answer but what were you supposed to do back in the 70's when some kids was being mean to you at recess?  Tell the teacher?  Well I tried that and it didn't work.  I am sure that reporting bullying and certainly repeated bullying would have a different impact today, as would responding with violence.  Not a good idea.

Ryan's in 5th grade this year and it seemed like the only thing they talked about for the first two weeks was about being kind to each other.  Annoying to my son but I loved it.  Focus on how to treat each other the way you want to be treated.

Oh wait, that's the Golden Rule....

Treat other people the way you want them to treat you.

Exactly!  Now that one has merit and a lot of it. 

As a mother it's all even more disturbing when my kids bully each other.  Oh yes, it happens.  We all know our kids treat each other bad sometimes.  My boys either get along really really well or they are fighting like cats and dogs and have to be separated on different floors of the house.  I guess they really know how to push eachothers buttons.   And even better, they think it's okay to be mean back.  So he's mean to you so you can be mean back to him?  Huh?  Who told you that rule.  Justification of actions at it's worst.

I have this rosy vision of them growing up together and being best friends and some days they act like it.  But other days....I guess I am not going to avoid them fighting.  It's just not going to happen.  I try to teach them that treating each other with kindness is most important and that those mean words they say to each other, really do hurt.. a lot!  

All I know is that being a mom is hard and I guess this is one of those mornings. 

More coffee please!!!!